snick_backup: (Scoobies doomed)
[personal profile] snick_backup
In comments to [livejournal.com profile] penny_lane_42's recent post, Sexuality, Consent, and the Buffyverse, I wrote, "I don't really have anything to say about the Sex Leads to Badness trope."

On further thought, I find that this is not true.

Joss's repeated use of Sex Leads to Badness (see Lauren's post for a handy enumerated list of evidence) is frequently viewed as Joss punishing the characters for having sex. I gather that this is a common horror trope as well, one that Joss has clearly overlooked in his attempt to deconstruct the genre. I've read a number of reasons for why people dislike this trope; leading the list are the related ideas that Sex=Good and that by using the trope Joss is promoting a twisted, unhealthy view of sexuality.

By themselves, I've never found either objection very compelling, largely, I suspect, because I have a more conservative view of healthy and appropriate sexual behavior than many folks. I view sex as an intimacy best experienced inside a deeply committed relationship. As with other intimate acts, it involves a great deal of vulnerability, at the very least physical but in most cases emotional as well. It also comes with baggage and expectations, many of them cultural but some, I believe, hard-wired. Sex is powerful stuff and not to be taken lightly. There are in fact very few examples of sex in the Buffyverse that I can believe were actually good decisions on the parts of both parties involved. (This is one major reason why I tend to write gen.)

(Also, because I know this often becomes an issue: I feel exactly the same way about this for both men and women. To my mind, casual sex is equally unhealthy and inappropriate for either gender.)

Given that, I’m actually all for the idea that sex has consequences, both good and bad, and am not opposed to seeing these consequences played out on screen. When Buffy makes what I consider the monumentally stupid decision to sleep with Parker, whom she’d known for a couple of weeks, I’m not in the least surprised that she gets burned. When Spike and Anya get it on, is it any wonder they hurt a whole lot of people’s feelings in the process, whether those hurt feelings are justified or not? And Lauren and I were talking just the other day about how one of the reasons the Spike/Buffy relationship in S6 works for us is because it goes against the “start having sex and everything’s fixed!” trope that’s so popular, especially in fandom.

OTOH, I find I have increasingly little patience with badness that directly follows sex and yet isn’t causally related to it, or at least wouldn’t be in our universe. “Sleep with your boyfriend and he’ll lose his soul” is of course the prototypical example, and it works because it’s Joss’s first big venture into such waters, because its metaphor is intentional, and because the arc is written so very well. But then there are such gems as “Sleep with your girlfriend again and some guy’ll shoot you” and our latest winner, “Sleep with your ex-boyfriend and current mortal enemy, and you’ll destroy the world! Literally!” That’s badness by authorial fiat, and after a while it starts to feel like plain bad storytelling.

However, if you toss in all the instances that are less about sex than about relationships in general, whether begun, renewed, or ongoing, things get much worse: Jenny dying just as she and Giles are reconciling, the meltdown of the Willow/Oz breakup, the heartbreak and stupidity of the Xander-Anya wedding-that-wasn’t, Anya dying shortly after she and Xander get together again, Renee dying after she and Xander kiss. And then there’s that one thing in Dr. Horrible, and that other kiss-followed-by-gunshot-death in Dollhouse (which I am still quite bitter about). In fact, I care much less about Joss’s apparent vendetta against sex than I do about his vendetta against relationships in general. Joss forbid that any couple ever get a happy ending, or even just a stable, long-term relationship. I adore Wash and Zoe in Firefly - a happily married couple! in space! – and we all know how that turned out.

All of which is to say: I’m a fan of Sex Leads to Consequences. I’m skeptical of Sex Leads to Badness; it depends very much on how it’s handled and what we’re talking about. And I’m profoundly irritated with All Relationships are Doomed.

Date: 2010-05-08 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penny-lane-42.livejournal.com
Oooh! Look at you being all thinky and making me grin!

I come from a home where my parents have been married for twenty-seven years, and I've seen that their relationship is far stronger than any platonic friendships they have outside of marriage. Yup. Mine, too--except that it's 26. ;D No doubt this is the reason I have such an investment in marriages in fandoms I relate to. Also, my mama is extremely close with her family, so that's probably the reason that I looooove familial relationships, too.

I think one of the biggest discords with my personal experience I find in the Jossverse is Xander and Anya's relationship - he wasn't willing to commit to the level she deserved, and it wasn't because he was afraid of becoming like his father; it was because his commitment to Buffy and Willow superseded his relationship with Anya, and so Anya was left out in the cold.

Yup. One of the reasons I could never fully embrace Xander. I'm so Team Anya that I always sat there feeling sorry for her.

Yes, yes! [livejournal.com profile] green_maia has a series of really brilliant posts about Doctor Who and the trope of The Temptation of Women and Family, in which she explores the idea that in many narratives, the hero is "tempted" by the love of a woman or the idea of a family, and that temptation is BADBADBAD and he should always ride off into the sunset on his own, being all heroic (and violent, which she also critiques as a pacifist. I'm not quite pacifist, but I fangirl her for being so dedicated to nonviolence).

In Joss's work, the temptation is still there, but the hero shouldn't ride off into the sunset--she should run back to Xander and Willow and Giles, because anything romantic is always going to fail her.

This is something we've never seen in Buffy; any separation of the Core Four Scooby gang is seen as a conflict that needs to be resolved by the end of the episode. Yes. And this really strikes home for me: when I wrote post-NFA Buffy/Spike, I have them only sometimes interacting with people who aren't Dawn or Angel (interestingly enough). And when I picture them together in the future, Buffy's still close with the Scoobies...but not that close. But she she is always going to be close to Dawn in my stuff, and nothing can change that.

Just shows how different my approach is from Joss's.

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