this is a rant

This post isn't directed an at a specific person or group of people, on my flist or off. It's not directed at any particular fandom. It's directed at fandom, the whole messy glorious group consciousness that I love.

When I started out in fandom, I wrote genfic, and here's the reason: my life is a genfic. I have a family I love and a handful of friendships - some of them right here in fandom! - that mean the world to me. And do you know what one thing none of these relationships need?

Sex.

Sex is not the automatic improvement to any given human interaction. 'Sexual' doesn't always mean 'better' or even 'more'; sometimes sex is a subtraction, not an addition. That a relationship is not sexual does not inherently imply that it is lacking; that it is less satisfying, worthwhile, meaningful, robust, or interesting; that it is somehow "not enough."

I've never seen any blanket argument to this effect, and I think even the most enthusiastic of multishippers have a few ships they prefer non-romantically. But the cumulative effect of fandom is to imply that every relationship is better / more interesting with sex.

Sex, fandom, is not the cherry on top of every relationship. It is not the sweet necessity without which no sundae is complete.

So you can stop telling me it is. Any day now.

Original entry posted at Dreamwidth. Feel free to reply here or there. ( DW replies)

this is a rant

This post isn't directed an at a specific person or group of people, on my flist or off. It's not directed at any particular fandom. It's directed at fandom, the whole messy glorious group consciousness that I love.

When I started out in fandom, I wrote genfic, and here's the reason: my life is a genfic. I have a family I love and a handful of friendships - some of them right here in fandom! - that mean the world to me. And do you know what one thing none of these relationships need?

Sex.

Sex is not the automatic improvement to any given human interaction. 'Sexual' doesn't always mean 'better' or even 'more'; sometimes sex is a subtraction, not an addition. That a relationship is not sexual does not inherently imply that it is lacking; that it is less satisfying, worthwhile, meaningful, robust, or interesting; that it is somehow "not enough."

I've never seen any blanket argument to this effect, and I think even the most enthusiastic of multishippers have a few ships they prefer non-romantically. But the cumulative effect of fandom is to imply that every relationship is better / more interesting with sex.

Sex, fandom, is not the cherry on top of every relationship. It is not the sweet necessity without which no sundae is complete.

So you can stop telling me it is. Any day now.

Original entry posted at Dreamwidth. Feel free to reply here or there. ( DW replies)

thing I wonder

Why is the juggernaut pairing in a fandom not called the flagship?

Original entry posted at Dreamwidth. Feel free to reply here or there. ( DW replies)

thing I wonder

Why is the juggernaut pairing in a fandom not called the flagship?

Original entry posted at Dreamwidth. Feel free to reply here or there. ( DW replies)